several occasions some fun and enjoyment in the company of my 'boys'. Do you want to hear about my arrest?"

Cries of 'Yes, yes,' rang out from all sides, while Sri Aurobindo sat smiling.

"Listen, then. I have told you already, haven't I, how well I was sleeping that early morning after a long night's work, when suddenly the police barged in."

"Did they handcuff you?"

"Yes, and also tied a rope round my waist with which they pulled me behind them. But that was later removed at the insistence of the Moderate leader, Bhupen Basu."

"Why don't you start the story from the beginning? Why did the police suddenly decide to arrest you?"

"It was not sudden at all. They had suspected all along that it was I who was the leader of the Revolution. Only, they lacked sufficient proof to be able to arrest me. But after the bomb explosion at Muzaffarpur, they grew desperate. They decided to arrest me, proof or no proof.

"So there I was, that morning, at my table in the Bande Mataram office, when I received a telegram announcing the explosion of the bomb at Muzaffarpur which had killed two Englishwomen. The Police Commissioner then announced in the papers that he knew who the culprits were and that they would soon be arrested, though I had no idea at the time that I was their target. And so, that day while I was enjoying a most peacefully innocent sleep, my sister ran in, terrified, and woke me up. I opened my eyes to find my small room filled with red-turbanned police. One of those brave fellows, the Police Superintendent, was even pointing his pistol at my sister's breast. I sat up, my eyes still heavy with sleep. The Superintendent curtly asked me, 'Are you Aurobindo Ghose?' The moment I answered 'Yes', he shouted, 'Arrest him!' Then he continued, 'Aren't you ashamed to live like this, you who have passed your B.A. examination in England? Look at this room! It doesn't have any furniture, not even a bed, you sleep on the floor....' I cut in, 'I am a poor man and I live like one.' The police chief

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was not very bright, maybe dealing with thieves and scoundrels had dulled his mental perceptions. He was unable to grasp the greatness of poverty. So he shouted, 'Is it because you wish to become rich that you have committed this crime?' I did not find it necessary to answer him.

"So they began to search my house very thoroughly.... It lasted from five-thirty in the morning, right up to eleven- thirty."

"Six hours!"

"Yes, they examined everything, notebooks and letters, poems, essays and plays. But probably they felt bad at not finding what they were looking for."

"What did they hope to find?" asked Kriti.

"What a silly thing you are!" broke in a small, irritated voice. "Guns, of course, and bombs...." (Laughter)

"How should she understand that? Girls don't usually think about bombs and bullets. Something rather interesting happened. There was a small box in my house, in which there was some soil from Dakshineshwar. The Superintendent thought, 'Aha! this must be some powerful explosive.' But after a long and close scrutiny he had to admit, disappointed, that it was nothing but loose clay."

"Why did you have this clay in your house?"

"Haven't you heard of the Kali Temple at Dakshineshwar, where Sri Ramakrishna had lived and done his Sadhana? It was there that he had his vision of the Mother, there that he used to converse with Her."

"Certainly we have. We have even seen films about him."

"Then you should understand about the soil. When the Mother gives you flowers, don't you put them away carefully?"

"Of course!"

"Well, soil and sand can contain powers just as flowers do. You follow?"

"Yes. And what happened after that?"

"I have written all about these things in my Karakahini."

"Books are not satisfactory because, if they raise questions

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in our minds, there is nobody to answer them. Whereas when you explain with the help of examples, everything seems so simple," replied Sita.

"So then, we were taken to the police station, and later to the lock-up. All the while, the police were trying their level- best to make me admit my guilt. They were ever so sweet in their speech and their manners, so full of good, friendly advice, believing that I wouldn't see through them! Anyone in my place would have done it. However, I needn't darken your little minds with details of their crooked wiles. The fact remains that I spent three nights in the lock-up."

"And didn't you eat or sleep?" asked Aditi.

"They did bring me a little bit of something, but it was absolutely inedible. And as for sleeping, there was the floor.

"In the morning, I found that there were a few others who had been arrested too, some of them as young as you. I guessed that they had been captured at the Maniktola Garden."

"Since the two of you - you and Barinda - were arrested on the same day, your family must have been awfully Worried."

"I suppose so. But I sent them a message asking them not to fear or worry."

"But didn't you feel any fear at all?"

"During the first few days, the mind was a little disturbed, though I wouldn't call it fear. At that time I was still not quite aware of what the Lord intended for me. Feeling hurt, I complained to Him, 'Why did You allow me to be locked up in jail on false charges before my work was finished?' On the third day came the answer. An inner voice told me, 'Be patient. You will soon find out.' The mind grew quiet and the trust returned. I was then taken from Lalbazar to Alipore and put in a small cell for a month. Solitary confinement."

"Even you?"

"Why not me? In the eyes of our colonial rulers, I was a dangerous criminal, do not forget that. You can't imagine

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how tiny the cell was, there was no window, just an iron- barred door. It would be more correct to call it a cage; in fact, it was worse than the cages reserved in the zoos for the wild beasts. Those are roomier, more airy. Men come and go, there is life and movement all around. I had none of those things. That men should sometimes go mad there is perfectly understandable. Later Sir Edward Baker, the Governor of Bengal, visited us in the jail and told Charu Dutt, 'Have you seen Aurobindo Ghose's eyes? He has the eyes of a mad man!' Charu Dutt took great pains to convince him that I was not at all mad, but a Karmayogi."

"And you stayed there for long?" asked Chaitanya.

"Yes, for a month. There were also very many other 'inconveniences', but I shall not go into them here. Let me only tell you that it was inhuman. We are so proud to call ourselves civilised human beings, but one who has been unfortunate enough to see what prison-life is will never be sure of that. Do you remember Ranade asking me to write about prison-reforms instead of political articles, when I was in Baroda? I had found his request quite ridiculous at the time."

"We would like to hear about your jail experience in more detail, please," requested Sachet.

"Then you should all go to jail, though I do hope independent India has radically improved the living conditions there!"

"We have seen prisons in the movies," said Udita.

"Were conditions there truly as barbaric as they depict?" asked Archan.

"They were certainly not any less barbaric. We were given two coarse blankets, prison-woven, in fact. They had to serve for sitting or sleeping on, in winter or in summer. A blackened rusty iron plate, and a similar bowl, which seemed to have been dug out of the bowels of the earth, served for both eating and washing purposes. If they were scrubbed for two or three hours, maybe they would shine a little. I regarded the bowl to be a representative of the

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British Civilian. Just as an I.C.S. man was capable of filling several roles, being judge, police officer and various other officials, so also my iron bowl. Sometimes it was used for my meals, at other times I drank water out of it, yet again I used it for my bath or my toilet. Can you imagine anything having such a multifaceted personality? Or fulfilling so many purposes? It could even be looked at as an aid in yogic discipline, since it helped one to transcend shame, repulsion and attachment. In many other ways also my life in prison could be described as a kind of spiritual retreat."

"Didn't the authorities feel any pity for you? They could at least have given you clean plates and cups."

"But the government did not consider Indians civilised enough, perhaps, or had not expected well-educated people to become their guests! What they wanted was for us to remain their slaves, eternally. And has anyone ever treated slaves with respect? Besides, the English are not known for treating their enemies with any gentleness or sympathy. Although, I must say, a few small concessions were allowed to me. For example, I was given a little extra water, so that I could have a bath. I was also allowed to walk outside my cell for a little while. I was even given a little milk."

"What was the food like?"

"Oh marvellous! Enough to put you far on the way of ascetic detachment. Coarse rice, even that spiced with husk, pebbles, insects, hair, dirt and other such stuff; a tasteless, watered-down lentil soup with a few vegetables, grass and leaves mixed in. And we received such treatment in spite of the fact that we were political prisoners. All of us came from well-to-do families. Some of us were even aristocrats; not one of us in any way inferior in blood or nurture to the finest of English gentlemen. But the government made no distinction between us and the other criminals. We were all treated alike. As a matter of fact, this helped me enormously. Whenever we were all together, I lived with the lowest of the low - murderers, bandits and thieves, eating and sleeping and suffering with them and I realised that we were all

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children of the same Mother. Not just I, all the other boys too felt the same, and they cheerfully ate that disgusting food day after day. I remember how the father of one of the youngsters, a zamindar, wept when he came to visit his son. And yet the boy, who had been brought up on milk. and honey, now told his father that he was perfectly happy with whatever he was given in jail."

Sudeep said, "We often complain about the food served in the Corner House. But we shall never again do it - after hearing your stories." The other children agreed.

"Actually it is the psychological suffering that is hardest to bear, that can even drive one mad. Compared to it, problems about physical comfort seem quite insignificant."

"But you never felt disturbed, mentally, did you?"

"Of course I did, at the beginning I was quite troubled. That is what I am saying. God has made me undergo all sorts of travails and difficulties. But His infinite Grace that never left me always showed me the way out of them. I have already told you about the Lalbazar Police Station. Again, when I was locked up in that small cell in Alipore, my mind was in turmoil. Perhaps if I had had books to keep me company, I might have suffered less."

"Weren't you allowed books even?" enquired Bittu.

"For that I needed the permission of the government authorities first, and getting it took me some days."

"We have been told that Sri Krishna Himself instructed you to read the Gita.Is that so?"

"That is so. But it would have been so much easier if he had provided me with the book, along with his instructions. However, while I waited for the Gita to be given to me, I realised fully the difficulties of an absolutely solitary confinement. Even men who are strong and wise may lose their minds in such isolation. I also realised that the Lord, in His infinite mercy, had provided me with a perfect opportunity to turn to Him and to unite myself with Him."

"You have been referring to mental suffering. Does the mind really suffer?"

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Sri Aurobindo said with a smile, "You know what physical suffering is, don't you? Fever or toothache? Well, just as the body has aches and pains, so does the mind. You don't understand what I mean, just now, since you are all too young still to have a mental life. But all the same, imagine yourself shut up in a room, completely alone. No one to talk to, not even a story-book, nothing at all to help you pass the time. You will then find yourself in a state of acute mental suffering. All kinds of thoughts will come to torment you without your being able to stop them from approaching you."

"I know what you mean. I went through something like that once. I remember being rather upset, and so I thought that if I went to bed early, I would forget my problems. But the moment I was in bed, thoughts started whirling in my head so violently and fast that I felt I was going crazy."

"Exactly. Busy as we are most of the time, with work and people, we fail to realise the power of solitude. And then there is a great difference between being alone by choice and a solitude that is forced upon you."

"Why is that so?" asked Anand.

"Well, when one chooses to be alone, one can obviously also choose not to be alone any more, don't you see? Books and friends can replace the silence that surrounds one. Whereas when solitude is imposed on a person, this is not the case. According to the proverb, one who can stand solitude is either a god or a brute; it is a discipline quite beyond the power of men. Only then did I realise how hard a condition it is to bear, even for one who is accustomed to the pursuit of yogic discipline. The Italian regicide Bressi was sentenced to seven years' solitary confinement. The poor chap went raving mad by the end of the first year."

"But then what about the Yogis who live alone in the Himalayas?"

"Put them in prison and then see what effect that has on them! I don't mean that there are no Yogis who can stand solitude. In fact, I myself arrived at that state, later. But not

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in the early days. Anyway, if a person is to survive such isolation, he has to be a Yogi."

"How did you spend your time?"

"At first I decided I would meditate most of the time, but I found that I could not hold on to my concentration for more than two hours at a stretch, after which I felt extremely tired, both in mind and in body. Then I began to ponder about various subjects, but that too did not last. There were neither people nor books for the mind to focus its attention on. I decided to dwell on the beauties and charms of Nature. But that too was hardly feasible, for Nature had reduced herself to just one single tree and a tiny little square of sky no bigger than a handkerchief! It was too joyless a scene to bring me any kind of comfort or consolation. Almost in despair, I began to look around me when I found some big black ants on the floor. So I began to spend my time observing their comings and goings. La Fontaine too, it is said, enjoyed studying the movements of ants, but he did so out of pleasure and not out of necessity like me. Then I noticed some small red ants. The black ones stood in their way. What a battle ensued! The reds were no match for the blacks and were being killed in such large numbers that I began to feel sorry for them. So I went to their rescue. Don't laugh at me, but -"

"No, no, I am not laughing. I am really surprised," put in Kriti.

"At the way an educated person like me could behave, isn't that so?"

"No, it's not that. I am only trying to understand why God made you endure so much hardship."

"His ways are never easy to explain. We'll come to that by and by. Only remember always, that He in His infinite mercy can even make use of pain to express his marvellous compassion. As you can well understand, it was not possible to be too long engrossed in ants. I knew I had to become much stronger, inwardly. I remember how often I used to enjoy solitude and meditativeness earlier, and yet here was

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I, finding it so difficult to come to terms with solitary confinement. With all my heart I called out to God to help me. The selfsame instant I experienced serenity spreading through my troubled being, a peace and a quiet happiness such as I had never known before. I felt secure and protected, for I knew that the World-Mother was holding me safe on her lap just as a baby is held in the warmth and love of its mother's arms. All my suffering had been wiped out, it was as if it had never been. And from that day onwards, God gave me the power to feel joy and strength in the heart of every circumstance, however difficult, be it physical or psychological in nature. The difficulty seemed henceforth like a drop of water on a lotus leaf, at once slipping away. Later, when I was permitted to have books, my need for them had greatly diminished. I could very well have done without them."

"Is prayer so effective? If so, you should not have waited so long and suffered so much before you prayed to God!" suggested Rinku.

Sri Aurobindo answered smiling, "Quite true! But then one does not turn to God until one finds oneself in the direst straits. The human intelligence is rather proud of itself, you know. Only when all else fails does one remember God, even the God-hater and atheist call out to Him then. But don't you have faith in the effectiveness of prayer?"

"I do, of course I do. I remember one night after I had eaten something bad, I was tossing about in bed with a terrible stomach-ache. Unable to bear it any longer, I called Out to the Mother. Suddenly I heard a voice - 'Be quiet, lie still.' Someone seemed to hold me down on the bed and within minutes I was fast asleep."

"So, there you are. You have the proof. It may be a small incident, but it shows you undeniably that prayer can be miraculously powerful. If you can pray to the Divine with your whole self, with mind and life and body, you can achieve the impossible. A call of this sort will bring Him close to you in an instant. I remember one such incident. A

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cousin of mine was ill with a very virulent type of typhoid fever, in days when illnesses like typhoid and pneumonia and T.B. were considered fatal. The doctors had given up hope, saying that there was nothing they could do. Finally it was her family's prayer alone that saved her. Nowadays, of course, one doesn't need to depend only on prayer to save people from such illnesses, there are medicines enough to cure them."

"Did you find out what it was that God intended for you?"

"Firstly, he wanted to make me aware of how weak and troubled my mind could be, in order to make me decide to conquer that defect once and for all. For, to the true aspirant or Yogi, it makes little difference whether he lives plunged in solitude or in the very heart of a multitude. And once I had realised this, I knew that even if I had to live alone for twenty years, I would not be perturbed. Secondly, I also understood that my Yoga would not be achieved by my own efforts but rather through faith and surrender, that a complete self-giving alone made all spiritual realisations possible, that all I needed to do was to be ready to receive the gifts of His Grace - His force, His knowledge, His delight. He made me aware of this by making me a detached spectator of the play of madness that He unfolded gradually in my own mind. For this, He had put me within the solitary confinement of the prison instead of letting me go astray, swept away by the life of the ordinary world.

"After these realisations, I grew stronger. I also learned to feel greater love and compassion for those who are made to suffer the cruel torments inflicted by their fellow human beings. I learned too of the miraculously successful effects of sincere prayer. There were, in fact, many more lessons that I learned. The Divine can fulfil so many aims through one single stroke of His Will, because His force is never blind. In fact, He is all-wisdom. It is we who, in our ignorance, call Him cruel and unjust, even foolish! That reminds me of a story about my grandmother. She said: 'God has made such

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a bad world! If I could meet Him I would tell Him what I think of Him!' My grandfather said: 'Yes, it is true; but God has so arranged that you can't get near Him so long as you have any such desire in you!' " (Laughter)

*

"Did you really answer the sadhaks' letters all through the night?" asked Mandakini.

"For six or seven hours, regularly, year after year."

"But why did you have to write so much?"

"Because at that stage of the Sadhana, it was very necessary. Just as, now that you children are here, it is necessary for the Mother to see to your food, your health. Doctor Nripen says, 'Give the children more vitamins.' Pranab asks for more exercises, also for eggs, meat and fish, sometimes even a picnic or two. Pavitra and Sisir ask for a school and for Knowledge! (Laughter) And there is a great deal more. All these have to become part of our Sadhana. So, you see, the problem is not so simple. The Mother has so much more work now, so many more responsibilities. She has truly become a human mother. She has to organise everything, look after everyone, give chocolates to some, fruits and flowers to others. There are quarrels she must pacify and tempers she has to cool. Am I not right? Of course, all this seemingly surface business has to be tackled with the inner yogic consciousness. All has to be an offering to the Divine - and now there is the varied crowd of apparently ordinary things of life to be woven into the spiritual practice. I have always called my path the Integral Yoga and held that all life is Yoga, but now in a more extended sense this yogic integrality has to come into play."

"The Mother does so much for us, and yet why is it that we fail to realise the infinite and exceptional grace we are receiving from Her?"

"Now your asking me this question shows that you are aware of her infinite and exceptional grace. You should all

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try to be worthy of it, by putting in more and more effort at progress. Truths that you cannot realise today will become evident tomorrow. Even if all of you don't, at least some of you will perceive them. The Divine's Love and Grace alone can transform the world."

"Is it true, as some say, that if the Mother had notcome here, your Yoga would have remained incomplete?"

"Absolutely true. The Mother is the Shakti, and hers is the force that realises and manifests Truth. If she had not come here, neither would you all have done so. That is certain."

"Then it must have been preordained that she would come here and that we too should follow suit?"

*

Sri Aurobindo asked, "Have you read the speech I made at Uttarpara?"

"Yes, we have."

"Then you should have known what was the real reason behind my imprisonment. It was the Divine who drew me away from the political field to keep me secluded in a prison cell. I have told you that."

"But we thought it was the government that arrested you."

"That is how it seemed, on the surface. We do not realise how complex human lives are, to how many forces they are subjected. Anyway... I alluded to that speech because in it I have said that it was Sri Krishna who took me to jail where he told me that He would prepare me for his special Work. Then, giving me the Gita, He asked me to practise the Yoga of the Gita. He also gave me the power to do so."

"How did He give you the Gita?"

"Why? Doesn't the Mother give you fruits and flowers in your dreams? They do not have to be material objects, do they? In the same way, Sri Krishna's gift to me was on the subtle plane."

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"What is the Yoga of the Gita?"

"To work for the Lord, without any thought about the fruits of the action. It is the same thing that you are expected to do here: at all times, in all ways, in your studies and in your actions."

"The Mother too has practised the Yoga of the Gita, has she not?"

"Of course. The same Force which used me guided her."

One of the children asked: "What was the work God had reserved for you? Was it Yoga and Sadhana?"

"Those are the means, not the aim. The purpose was to revive the Sanatana Dharma, the Eternal Religion, the ancient Hinduism, and by it to reawaken the entire human race. India has always nurtured this ideal, the very law of her being has been to bring about the spiritual welfare of mankind. God made me realise the central truth of Hindu religion. He even changed the attitude and behaviour of the prison authorities towards me, so that I was allowed to stroll in the open courtyard outside my cell - in the morning for an hour or more and in the evening for fifteen or twenty minutes. The prison doctor and the superintendent and his Bengali assistant, who had been always quite sympathetic towards me, made it a point to come and see me every day and exchange a few pleasant civilities. In fact it was the Irish doctor who had made it possible for me to take those walks. These moments were very precious to me. As I walked I would recite the deeply moving, immortal, powerful mantras of the Upanishads, those profound verses filled with deep luminous thought and vibrant rhythm. I could actually feel myself penetrated by their power! I always sought to experience the truth they expressed - that all here is the Lord, sarvam khalvidam brahma, everything is indeed the Brahman."

"Can one seek to experience these truths?"

"Why not, so long as they are sincerely sought for? And one day my efforts bore fruit, I did realise those truths. Then I found that I was no longer surrounded by the walls of my

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cell, but by the arms of Vasudeva. When I walked under the tree in the yard, it was not a tree any more but Sri Krishna who spread his cool protective shade over my head. The guards and jailors had become Vasudeva, the very door, the bars on the window, all were none but Vasudeva. When I lay on the coarse blanket it was the embrace of Sri Krishna that I felt, the arms of my Lover and my Friend. In the thieves and murderers of the prison I discovered the same Vasudeva, the same Narayana. The love, kindness and humanity shown to me by those men had earlier not only overwhelmed me but also embarrassed me. I am particularly reminded of one of them, a simple peasant, a man of the unlettered masses, one whom we, in our blind pride, might describe as low-born. And yet he had seemed to me to be a saint and I had never understood how he could have been charged with robbery and sentenced to ten years imprisonment. A man who was so truly good could not be capable of wilful robbery. And about these people God told me, 'Look at these men. It is because I want you to work with them that I have sent you to prison. Try to understand the nature of this extraordinary race and see why I want you to awaken it and raise it up'"

"What did you gain from this experience?"

"How do you mean? Do you think of gain when you see God, even in dreams, standing before you? What would you think of?"

"Delight."

"Well, then, delight, absolute peace, love and compassion for all living creatures, all these came rushing on me. There also came the certitude of my release from prison.

"When, soon after this experience, our trial began and we were taken from the quiet prison to the noisy heart of the city, I was disturbed and shaken at first. Then God appeared again before me and said - 'Do you remember those early days in jail when you would so often complain to me about the lack of my Grace and protection? And now, look who the Magistrate and the Prosecutor are. Are they not

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Vasudeva?' Yes, indeed they were all Vasudeva, there was none who was not Sri Krishna. Smiling with infinite gentleness, He continued, 'There is no cause, therefore, for any doubt or fear. I dwell in all of them, it is I who am the mover and the Guide; my protection will never fail you. This trial need not worry you, for I shall see to its outcome. Besides, it is not for the trial that I have had you brought here. This case is but an occasion and a means. What I intend for you is something completely different.'

"All the same, I would often help my lawyer with my own ideas and suggestions. Perhaps because of the pressure of circumstances, he found that he could no longer handle the case. In his place came another, a most unexpected substitute, a dear friend of mine whose name you all know. He gave up ail his other work and responsibilities to take up my case. He worked for it tirelessly, night and day, week after week and month after month, even at the cost of his health. He was Chittaranjan Das. When he came, I felt certain that I need not give him any suggestions or advice. And the inner voice said, 'This is the man who will bring you your freedom- You do not need your papers any longer, for I will guide him, not you.' I grew completely quiet within, for the voice would repeat again and again, 'Remember why I brought you to jail and fear nothing, think of nothing else. No human power can alter what I have willed.'

"In the meantime, He brought me out of my solitude. I rejoined the young men who had been arrested along with me. In their company I felt humble, as well as happy. I had often been praised for my selflessness and patriotism, but now I found that these boys possessed a courage, a strength and a capacity for self-sacrifice far greater than I did. Indeed it appeared that I had much to learn from some of them. Then again I heard the voice speak, 'These young men represent the types of the great new race that will inhabit this country. In no way are they weaker or lesser than you. If today you forget or move away from the path, yet shall the work continue, these are the ones who will carry it forward.

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But you have been specially selected to harbour my Force, to raise this fallen race with the power of your Speech.'

"In fact, it was true. They were all exceptional, those boys. How they loved fun and laughter, those so-called terrorists and killers! There was no trace of fear in them, they were ready with a smile to mount the gallows, if that was what was required. They did not feel the least worry about the future, or even about the outcome of the case. They were on good terms with everybody, friend or foe, prisoner or guard and even the Englishmen. In the court, while the trial was on, some of them sang songs while others read books, even while their fates were being decided. They were not concerned about whether they were going to be hanged or deported for life to the Andamans or sentenced to hard labour. I would marvel at them and say to myself that since the motherland had sons like them, freedom could surely not be long in coming. Watching them, I realised that God had indeed proved to me that He was creating a new race of men."

Everybody was listening to Sri Aurobindo in rapt silence. When he finished speaking, the children seemed to return to the outer consciousness from some deep meditation. Quietly they filed out of the room, their heads bowed.

*

Today Sri Aurobindo began on his own:

"Yesterday I spoke to you about the young men of the New Age. Now, when I look at you, I feel that you are children of a still newer age. Many of those same young people must have been reborn in you in order to participate in the Mother's work."

"But we don't feel anything!" admitted two or three children.

"How can you? You have not yet had either the time or the knowledge to understand anything about the past or the future. But whoever has the vision can see in you the seeds

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of a new life, a life that is not content with moving along the same old ways and rounds. The desire to know the Divine, to consecrate yourselves to His service, to awaken to a new Consciousness - these are all there in you. As they intensify, they will become more evident and you will become aware of them."

"Yes. Sometimes we ask ourselves - 'Who is the Divine? Can He be known?' At such times everything else like studies or games seems so insufficient. And then when we come to you, we feel a new enthusiasm, afterwards for days a deep joy fills our beings. But again the old heaviness returns, the laziness, the unwillingness to apply ourselves to our studies. All we love to do then is to have fun, and spend our time with our friends!"

"Oh, well! It's not so bad. Human nature, after all, takes time to change."

"But where can we get that power to change?"

"Didn't you just say that when you come to me you feel a new joy, a new force?"

"But we can't always come to you!"

"You don't need to, really. Whenever you call us with all your heart, we hear you and send the help, the strength."

"Is it true that in jail you said to Monada's father, 'Think of me'?"

"I may have. I don't remember now."

"How did you spend your time there? Did you meditate most of the time, as some say?"

"If by meditation you mean sitting in one place with closed eyes, then, no. But it is true that I was doing my Sadhana. And you may say that in that one year the intensity of my spiritual discipline was equivalent to three years of rigorous Sadhana under ordinary circumstances."

"What kind of Sadhana was it?"

"It included the disciplines of different Yogas, such as Rajayoga, Hathayoga, Tantra and so on."

"Did Vivekananda come to you in your cell, as we have heard?"

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"Yes, indeed. It was really an extraordinary experience. I never knew him before that. Of course, I had read his books, but I had never met him and yet his spirit came to me in prison for two whole weeks. He spoke only on a special and limited but very important field of spiritual experience and ceased coming as soon as he had finished saying all that he had to say on that subject."

"Incredible!"

"It may sound incredible; but such things are not at all uncommon in spiritual life. Haven't you heard about the experiences the Mother had?"

"Yes, of course. We have heard that when she was young she used to see you, that you would often visit her?"

"And yet I, the outer Aurobindo, knew nothing about it. Many other beings also used to visit her. It was during my contact with Vivekananda that I got the first inkling of a passage towards what I have called the Supermind."

"Did he know something about the Supermind?"

"I can't say anything about that; anyway, he never mentioned it to me. I deduced from what he had told me that there existed something beyond the truths he was helping me to understand."

"If he had known about it, he would have told you."

"No, not necessarily. In fact, a Yogi rarely speaks about everything that he knows. Even if I were set to write for twelve years to express my knowledge, I might still keep something unsaid."

"But you must write everything! How else can we ever learn?"

"My answer to that is the same that I have been giving to your elders all these years. First read and understand everything that is already written. You're all so young. Perhaps you don't even know the names of all my books!"

"How did you acquire so much knowledge?"

"Through Sadhana and Yoga. While I was in prison, doing my Sadhana, the eye of inner vision suddenly opened. For instance, about painting - I began to understand painting,

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its qualities of colour and form and line. Also, I have already told you about the power acquired through Pranayama, haven't I, how it helped to bring down a flood of literary creativity."

"All these realisations must be boons you have received because of actions in your previous birth!"

Sri Aurobindo said, "That is typical of the orthodox Indian mind! Karma, everything is but a result of Karma! In that case, there is no use making any effort or doing Sadhana. Naturally, there is a past existence, a present one, a future one too. But if I had only counted on them and not on my own striving, could I have acquired any of these powers? Why need I have done so much Sadhana? The truth is that all Knowledge is lodged within man's being. Tapasya helps him to discover it, and later to spread it."

"Didn't the company of the other young prisoners disturb your Tapasya in the jail?"

"They were not there with me the whole year long. In any case, I used to sit in my corner, busy with my own meditation while they remained busy with theirs."

"Did they too meditate?"

"If they did, it was rather noisily done, often through loud singing! (Laughter) A few of them, though, did make some effort to concentrate on their Sadhana."

"We have read that they would often rope you into their pranks and jokes."

"Well, of course, now and then I did join in their fun and laughter. After all, they were my friends and companions, all of them were spending time in prison mainly because of me."

"Nolinida too was one of them."

"Yes, but he was very young, and I wasn't very well acquainted with the youngest ones there."

"Someone has written something about your hair."

"What has he written?"

"Since you had extremely shiny black hair, he asked you how you managed to oil it while they never got to see any oil!" (Laughter)

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"And what was my reply?"

"You replied to him that the shine was not due to oil but to Sadhana. Your complexion too was getting lighter, he had noticed. There is also a funny story that he recounts -

"There was a young fellow named Hem Sen who used to get biscuits and other eatables from outside. At night he kept these things near him, in spite of which they were often stolen. One night, a fellow named Abinash was stealing the biscuits but saw that you were awake! He quickly put some in your hand. You smiled and began eating them, lying down!" (Laughter)

Anshu said, "With 'all that terrible food that you have 'described to us, the biscuits must have tasted so delicious!"

"Oh, yes! and there's another story," chirped a little one. "It's about your meditation in Charuda's house, where you were staying as a guest. You had locked yourself up in your room there one day, and had entered into such a profound trance that though they almost broke down the door trying to enter the room, you heard nothing."

"But why on earth were they so keen to enter my room?"

"It seems you had asked for an iced drink earlier, and since the ice was melting rather fast they wanted to give you the drink soon."

"Oh! I'm told that Charu has many stories about me. He is the grandfather who carries a great big bag of stories with him! And like all good story-tellers he has a fantastic imagination, so don't believe all of them!" (Laughter)

Rahul struck a slightly plaintive note:

"But you never told us that most frightful of your prison stories."

"Which one?"

"The killing of Naren Goswami."

"But that has nothing to do with my life story!"

"But didn't you know that they were planning to kill him?

It was done for your sake, it seems."

"The boys did not tell me all their plans. In fact, Barin

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was their leader, but even he had not been told of this one, for fear he might try to stop it."

"But to have shot a young man in cold blood!"

"Well, it may not have been a very pleasant incident, but do you think there was any other option? If he had not been killed, he would have revealed everything to the authorities, many would have been punished, some even hanged, perhaps myself included. Instead, now only two of them accepted to be hanged. You know, in such things one can't be sentimental. If you begin to feel sorry for your opponent, then war-games are not for you. Yes, there are people who have condemned the murder and said that two bright young people gave up their lives to save one man. There have been many examples in history where people have died for the sake of their beloved leader. I hope, however, you are not followers of non-violence. Because, in order to uphold rightfully the ideals of non-violence, you ought to acquire first a power like the Buddha's. As for the fellow who sought to betray us, I knew him quite well. He even tried to flatter and cheat me. He was weak and cowardly.

"But the other two, Kanai and Satyen - they were so splendidly fearless, even accepting the hangman's rope round their necks with a smile!"

"Was the Judge a friend of yours who set you free because he knew you well?"

Sri Aurobindo answered, "He wasn't exactly a friend.... It's just that we used to study together. We had even sat for the I.C.S. examination together. I believe I was acquitted because of lack of evidence against me."

"But everybody knew you to be the real 'ringleader'."

"That is not enough. In a court of law, one needs to substantiate statements with proof. They gathered a few hundred witnesses against me, a huge amount of material as evidence. They made the trial stretch over a whole year - something unheard of at the time, in India certainly, perhaps also in the world. Both the government prosecutor and the police tried their utmost to establish that I was the

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ringleader, as you say, and that I should be sentenced. But what can human intelligence and talent avail against the Divine's Will? He had already decided upon my acquittal. Beechcroft merely passed the order for it."

"Chittaranjan Das displayed a brilliant and remarkable mastery of the law, did he not?" asked Rahul.

"Absolutely. The Lord made him His instrument. Any- one with the least vision and perception could see a spiritual Power at work behind him. Of course that doesn't mean that he did not have to apply himself. On the contrary, he worked night and day on the case, after having given up all other commitments. He plunged into the study of innumerable books of law, pondering and studying situations and solutions."

"Then how can one say that it was the Divine who won the case?"

Sri Aurobindo replied, "I see you have an extraordinary notion about the Divine and His Power! According to you, all one needs to do is to lounge in one's armchair and the Lord will drop the fruits of success right into one's lap, isn't that so? (Laughter) Well, the Divine doesn't usually go in for such dramatic miracles, although those who obtain unexpectedly wonderful results, far beyond the scope of their efforts, often realise that nothing but the Grace could, have brought them such success. The true worker knows to what extent he himself is the author of his success and what help another Power has given him."

"That last speech C.R. Das made was magnificent. It was prophetic too, since everything he said then has come true, to the smallest detail."

Sri Aurobindo smiled a gentle smile.

"Is it true that he came here for your darshan?"

"Yes, he did. But his health was completely ruined by then, after long years of imprisonment which he underwent for the sake of the country. After Tilak, he was the only man who had the ability to lead the country to freedom. However, to come back to our story. After one year in jail, I

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found myself free, acquitted on all counts, a freedom achieved by the Divine Grace with C.R. Das as its instrument."

*

Sri Aurobindo, looking smilingly around the room, asked, "And what are we going to talk about today?"

Sudeep said, "About the way your political career came to an end."

"Oh, it ended in a dramatically sudden manner. I was obliged to leave Calcutta as suddenly as I had gone there. I had barely ten minutes to spare, and so there was no question of letting anyone know. I think I have told you that the Karmayogin and the Dharma, the two papers I was editing, were widely circulated, particularly the Karmayogin, so much so that the subscription rate for it had to be reduced by half for more people to be able to buy it. I am not sure whether it was this great popularity of my papers or of my speeches or even of my person that began to annoy the government. They seemed to feel that my pen had to be silenced for them to have the chance to govern in peace. It was obviously intolerable for them that I would, with my fiery words, have the power to destroy the order and superficial tranquillity imposed by their dictatorial ways. They were upset especially since a reaction of renewed violence was again becoming evident. According to the police, I was the friend, philosopher and guide of these young revolutionaries. In fact, though I was found innocent at the end of my long trial, the police always believed me to be guilty. I was not at all as good-natured as I appeared, this was the firm belief of everybody from the officials in London's India Office down to the police commissioner in Calcutta! They were waiting for the right opportunity to remove this thorn from their political flesh, and all that I said or did or wrote was constantly scrutinised. But they could not find any legal justification for removing me, and

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even the British government dared not take action without cause!

"However that might be, the government then brought Out a new set of reforms that seemed to give us much more freedom and many more rights - a move that was meant to pacify us. And it did. At least the Moderates seemed very satisfied and many of them even began to side with the government. I wrote articles sharply criticising those reforms. I described them for what they were - deceitful traps. Obviously, such writings could not please our masters. At that point, Sister Nivedita informed me that they were proposing to send me out of Bengal, a form of political exile, and suggested that I leave Bengal immediately, I asked her not to be unduly troubled on my account since I had plans of my own which would force them either to alter or at least to postpone their intention of deporting me."

"Were you in touch with Sister Nivedita?"

"You seem to have forgotten all that I have told you about her! She and I worked together for the country and its revolutionary activities, for articles in the newspapers and so on. On the other hand, she was on friendly terms with many of the government officials. That is how she was often the first to learn about the plans of the police. When I came out of prison, she was the first to honour me with a grand reception along with the students of her school.

"I wrote an 'Open Letter to My Countrymen' which was published in our paper Karmayogin, where I set down very clearly what our aims and methods were. I also mentioned that the methods would not go against the law. Sister Nivedita had the satisfaction of knowing that the government dropped its plans regarding me, at least temporarily, and I continued with my work. At first our Nationalist Party sought to arrive at some agreement with the Moderates, but failed. In the meantime, a young man shot and killed a high official of the police, Shamsul Huda, and the raids and arrests started again. Word reached me of fresh moves to deport me. I published in my paper a new set of articles

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which proclaimed that I had no hand in the recent killings that I did not even approve of them, but that so long as the government carried on with its repression such acts of violence would obviously continue. This too worked, for a while there was a stop to repression. Then, one evening about eight o'clock, as I was sitting in our Karmayogin office with a few of my boys, busy doing some automatic writing, there entered a young man, in a state of extreme anxiety. Hurriedly he told me that a warrant for my arrest had been issued, that a relative of his who worked in the Police Department had told him so. I kept quiet for a while, then I said, 'I shall go to Chandernagore.' "

"Why Chandernagore?"

"Because that was what I was asked to do, that was the 'adesh'."

" 'Adesh'?"

"Ever since my meeting with Lele, all my decisions were made for me by God. I received all my advice and indications, whenever they were needed, from above, and I obeyed them implicitly. They were really commands, so absolutely powerful in their nature that they were not to be denied. Later, when I left Chandernagore for Pondicherry, that too was by a command, an 'adesh'.

"I left the Karmayogin office and within ten minutes found myself on the banks of the Ganges. A couple of boys came with me, one of them led me down to the river bank through dark lanes and bylanes in order to avoid the attention of the police, the other walked a few metres behind us. Quickly we reached the bank and hired a boat. The three of us sailed down the river all through the night and very early in the morning, before day-break, we reached Chandernagore. One of the members of our Party lived in that town, someone who had also been to jail with me. I informed him of my arrival and asked him if I could put up at his place. Instead of giving me shelter, he sent me a sarcastic reply, asking me to go to France."

"Why did he do that?"

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"Out of fear."

"Was it expected that he should help you?"

"Yes, because all the members of our secret Party had made a vow to help one another in times of trouble."

"So what happened then?"

"I was sitting quietly in the boat with the absolute certitude that some way would be found. It was God's Will and His Will is always done. A little while afterwards came a gentleman who, having heard of my predicament, took me to his own house. I did not know him, had never met him, though he was a revolutionary. But he had read my writings and heard me speak at various meetings. Motilal Roy welcomed, me without hesitation into his home on condition that no one else, no second individual, should learn about my stay there. I asked the boys to request Nivedita on my behalf to take up the charge of editing the Karmayogin. They left me in Motilal's care and returned to Calcutta. Except for her and two or three of my boys, no one knew ; of my whereabouts."

' "How did the police fail to find out about you, in spite of keeping such a close watch over your movements?"

"Never forget that there is a Force greater than that of any police or government. It is the Divine's. He whom God protects, no man can touch. When the 'adesh' was given, all the arrangements for fulfilling it were made. Haven't you read in the Gita how Sri Krishna says, 'Surrender yourself to me and my Grace will protect you from all harm'?

"I stayed in my secret hideout in Chandernagore for a month. Then there came again another command, 'Go to Pondicherry.' So, with the same secrecy, I came to this far-off place. The police found it out only after I had arrived here. This is how my political life came to an end."

*

"Isn't it strange that though you were in Chandernagore

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for a whole month, neither the police nor anyone else ever found out anything?"

"You seem to forget all the time the fact that God had taken my life into His charge and it was His Will that I should go to Chandernagore. So, eager though they may have been to arrest me, the police obviously could not do so, Since such was His Will. You do believe that He is somewhat more intelligent than they are, don't you? Of course, that did not mean that, once there, I was free to roam about the town making speeches and attending political meetings. Evidently, I had to remain constantly on guard all the time taking every precaution so that nobody might find out about me. If you believe that just because God is protecting you, you need not follow any of the rules and norms of rational conduct and those that good common sense requires, you are totally unreasonable.

"I remained all the time indoors, though it was not always the same house where I stayed. During that month, I moved two or three times. But it was mostly Motilal Roy who looked after me."

"How did you spend your time?"

"Just as I did when I was in jail. If I could stay in a cell alone for almost a year, should living by myself for a month in a room be difficult?"

"But in Chandernagore, you had to stay behind closed doors night and day! Did you do a lot of reading?"

"No, I just sat quietly in my room. Sometimes when Motilal came with many eager questions about Sadhana, we would talk."

"So you were all the time busy doing your Sadhana? You sat with closed eyes and meditated?"

"To meditate with eyes closed is not my practice. I always meditate with my eyes open."

"Yes, yes, so we have been told. Could you please say something more about that?"

"Would you understand me if I did? Well, anyway, I was completely indrawn, totally unconcerned with all that surrounded

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me, with where I was or what I ate. Much later I came to know that the house I lived in was filthy, full of bats and cockroaches, but at that time I was not aware of any of those things. I was not really concerned with my comfort. What I required were solitude and secrecy, and I got both. I used to have wonderful visions then, see figures of Vedic gods who visited me in my hours of meditation. They brought with them strange messages, writings of which I tried to understand the meaning. I was in a state where my own separate existence or my own individual will had ceased to exist. Here 'I' - what one may call by that name - am talking to you but it is not I, I lift my arm but it is not I, when I eat or walk there is no I. Everything is the Divine. It is He who wills, who moves, who is all. I discussed some of these truths with Motilal and helped and guided him in his Yoga. Inspired by me, he later established a society which expanded substantially."

"Why did you leave Chandernagore?"

"I got a clear command to leave Chandernagore. You see I could not stay too long in the same place. The authorities were bound to find out someday and the police would certainly contrive to arrest me once again. Word reached me that some Calcutta papers had published the news that I had managed to escape to Tibet where I was now living with the saints and sages in the Himalayas, engrossed in philosophical and spiritual discussions!"

"Goodness! Really?" exclaimed Sachet;

"Didn't you know that, according to the Theosophists, very many sages live there, one of whom is Kuthumi?"

"Oh yes! You have a poem called 'Kuthumi'. Have you met him?"

Sri Aurobindo said, "No. That poem is pure imagination. In the end, our paper, the Karmayogin, had to publish an official denial of these reports about my escape to Tibet. It added that I was living in seclusion for spiritual purposes, and that for the same reason I was no longer working for the journal.

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"You know, human imagination is endlessly inventive. Take, for example, my going to Chandernagore. It gave rise to what an extraordinary variety of rumours! Some said it was Nivedita who finally decided, after long deliberation, that I should go there. Absolute nonsense! Apart from two or three people, nobody knew about my decision to leave for Chandernagore. We need not go into the other more fanciful versions and rumours. And again, so many colourful reasons have been given about my retirement from politics. One explanation is that it was due to fear of the police. Another states that I withdrew from politics because I failed to find success in that field. Well, if I had been afraid of politics I would never have become a revolutionary and I don't think success eluded me entirely! People who judge everything by outward appearances alone draw such superficial conclusions. To tell you the truth, by then I had left politics far behind me and was wholly absorbed in the spiritual life.

"My progress on the spiritual path had to proceed unhindered, and that is why I had to leave all political activity aside. But before doing so I had already had the inward perception and certitude that the lines along which I had been working for the country would end in success. I knew that the leaders of the next generation would be able to obtain that result, for which my physical presence among them was no longer necessary. It was not at all out of any sense of frustration or despair that I had retired from politics, nor had I 'escaped' from it. I left because there was a greater work awaiting me, to which God had called me. That was why I came to Pondicherry, though even that decision was not mine. Just when my friends in Chandernagore were beginning to worry about my future, anxiously wondering whether to send me out of the country, to France for instance, there came again that same command, - 'Go to Pondicherry'."

"How strange! And you, you had no plans of your own?"

"Haven't I told you that ever since my Vasudeva experience

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I had stopped thinking of myself or of my future? In fact this had started even earlier - since my Nirvana experience. From then onwards I had always followed the Voice of the Inner Guide. He took me to Chandernagore, brought me to Pondicherry."

"How exactly did you come? Do tell us! It must have been very difficult, since you were in hiding and Pondicherry is a long way off from Bengal! How did you manage to make the arrangement?"

"Since He had asked me to come here, obviously it was up to Him to make the arrangement! However, this is how it was worked out:

"The moment I was told, 'Go to Pondicherry', I asked to see Motilal. We discussed the matter and I suggested that he send there first a young Nationalist who had worked with me. Suresh, or Moni as we called him, was sent to Pondicherry straightaway so that he might make all the necessary arrangements for my stay there. In the meantime, my maternal cousin Sukumar, who was at Calcutta, was asked to prepare for our journey by boat to Pondicherry. Naturally, all these preparations were made in utmost secrecy. There were five or six young men whom I trusted fully and knew they would work things out as perfectly as possible. So there I was, once again crossing the Ganges by boat at night. We took a horse-carriage to reach the place from where we would embark for Pondicherry. But we arrived just a little late, that is to say, when we reached there, we saw that the British doctor had left. The doctor had to give every passenger a health certificate after examining him, only then could the passengers sail. So we had to rush to the doctor's house. There were four of us as well as a porter whom we took along with us because he swore that he knew where that doctor lived. He had also added that he was a very good friend of the latter's servant who was sure to help us to meet the doctor. We had to hurry and get the doctor's certificate before the ship sailed and yet everything had to be discreetly done so that the police might get no wind of it. So there we

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were, riding in the carriage to the doctor's house, my friends growing more and more apprehensive by the minute, while I sat beside them, calm, undisturbed. We reached the house and while we were waiting in the verandah, the porter went and told Nagen, 'Is that Babu of yours frightened? I guess he has never been near an Englishman before! {Laughter) Tell him not to be afraid, doctor sahib is a good man!' Then he quickly came to me and whispered softly, 'Babu, why are you afraid? The sahib is a very good man, you don't have to be afraid.' And as he spoke, he took hold of both my arms and shook them as if to make me alert. The three young men enjoyed the whole episode, exchanging amused glances and laughing to themselves. And I too laughed.

"Hardly a moment later, the servant came and called me. Bijoy and I went in. I told the doctor that I had recently had a bout of malaria, and that I very badly needed a change of air. The gentleman was very impressed by my English accent and asked me where I had been educated. When he heard that I had been brought up in England, he was so pleased with me that he gave me the necessary paper. He never realised that I was Aurobindo Ghose, the revolutionary for whose capture the government had spread a net far and wide. It was ironical, wasn't it, that an Englishman should help me to escape that net just because I spoke with such a fine English accent!" (Laughter)

"But didn't he recognise you by your name?" "Do you think I went up and introduced myself to him, saying - 'Here I am, Aurobindo Ghose!' Isn't such saintliness too much to expect in this Kaliyuga of ours? Actually, there is one particular rule that all revolutionaries follow - one never reveals one's name. I had been a revolutionary leader for so long, yet very few people called me by my actual name. However -"

"Then how did you introduce yourself to him?" "I told him that I was Jatindranath Mitra and that my friend , Bankimchandra Basak and I were travelling to Colombo!" (Laughter)

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